plz talk dirty to me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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