I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
well, you know. whores of a feather.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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