i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
