Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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