do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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