Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and she was petting her beer can
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
