ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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