If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he fucked my hip out of place.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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