So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
