try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
