Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
