Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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