it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
