ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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