I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
