I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
