Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
