Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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