hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
