It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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