Don't you send me to vm
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
