Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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