Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
