Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
