hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
