Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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