At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just puked most of my soul out..
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