well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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