I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
