i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Success! We fucked roommates!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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