You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
