Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
