I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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