Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
