dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
