there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
