i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
