how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
