my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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