Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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