I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
