Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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