the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
