I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You are the jesus of drinking
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
