we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
