you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
