its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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