So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
