you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
