I don't think brook has ever known best
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
