I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
